Twin Flame Initiation: My Sacred Collapse & Rebirth
Gloucestershire, UK.
This isn’t a love story and right now, it doesn’t come with the traditional or conditioned happy ending, but the ending that was needed.
I wrote a blog the other day when I was knee-deep in my Twin Flame Inititation, today I am almost 2 weeks or more post the depths of it.
This is an initiation. A breaking open. A burning down. A cosmic reroute disguised as heartbreak, and yeah, it sure felt like it too!
And if you're walking through it, or something akin, I want you to know - you're not crazy. You're being cracked open by a kind of love that doesn't come to stay. It comes to liberate.
What Is a Twin Flame Initiation?
Twin Flame Initiation isn’t about fairy tales or endless reunion timelines. It’s about energetic truth bombs dropping in your life to burn away illusion. The conditioning. The wounding. The expectations.
It starts with soul recognition: your eyes meet, the air shifts, timelines warp. Your whole body knows. Your soul whispers:
“Oh… it’s you. I’ve been wondering when we would meet.”
But what follows is not easy.
It’s a storm—and I mean a full-blown internal shitstorm.
One that consumes you, breaks you, and still asks you to walk forward with grace. You won’t know who you are by the end of it—but that’s the point.
And if you're here to navigate it consciously (like I did), it will become one of the most transformative chapters of your life. I only survived it because I trusted my soul, listened to my intuition, and used every healing tool I’ve ever embodied to transmute the wreckage into gold.
But what is a Twin Flame?
Let’s go deeper.
A Twin Flame isn’t just your other half. That’s a surface-level interpretation—one that sells books but doesn’t prepare you for the storm.
A Twin Flame is someone who shares the same core soul essence—like two expressions of the same original frequency, fractaled into separate incarnations to accelerate soul growth.
It’s not about romantic perfection.
It’s about soul purification.
The two of you carry similar energetic coding, but often radically different life paths, karma, and wounding. You meet not to complete each other—but to confront, activate, and evolve.
This person doesn’t just mirror your love.
They mirror your pain. Your patterns. Your deepest, unconscious wounds.
And they do it so precisely, so devastatingly accurately, that you cannot ignore yourself anymore.
The Soul Contract
You likely made a soul agreement long before this life:
“When the time is right, I’ll meet you. And when I do, you’ll remember who you really are. Even if it breaks us both.”
The purpose is not reunion.
The purpose is remembrance—of your wholeness, your truth, your mission.
The reunion only works when both souls have met themselves in full integrity. Until then, it’s often separation, chaos, longing, avoidance, projection, collapse, rebirth.
And here’s the real kicker:
You can’t make them do the work.
You can’t drag them into consciousness.
You can only rise. And let your rising do the revealing.
Polarity, Pain + Purpose
One twin often awakens first—the Divine Feminine-coded one, the feeler, the seer, the intuitive. She feels the connection first. She knows it’s different. She aches for its potential.
The other—often the Divine Masculine-coded one—runs. Avoids. Disappears. He may feel the connection but can’t yet hold it. He hasn’t met his own shadow. He’s terrified of what he sees in your light.
But you weren’t meant to be together at any cost.
You were meant to become whole.
That means:
Facing your abandonment wounds, self-betrayal, and co-dependency.
Learning discernment over delusion.
Rebuilding your nervous system from the wreckage.
Alchemizing obsession into embodiment.
Reclaiming your mission, your power, and your sacred standards.
Who Runs, Who Rises?
You're probably wondering: does one gender typically run? Is it always the man who disappears and the woman who heals?
Not quite. It’s more complex than that.
This isn’t gender-based. It’s consciousness-based.
But because gender often influences conditioning, patterns do show up:
Women (especially empaths/spiritual leaders) are more likely to:
Feel the connection instantly and intensely
Be spiritually aware of the union first
Do visible healing work—therapy, retreats, self-devotion
But many also:
Rush into another relationship to escape the wound
Choose a ‘safe’ partner over sovereignty
Stay stuck in the Twin Flame identity and bypass deeper shadow work
Men (or masculine-coded individuals) are more likely to:
Run silently—ghost, avoid, or disappear
Numb out with distractions (work, other women, substances)
Suppress emotions until a breakdown forces awakening
But some also:
Experience quiet, deep awakenings post-separation
Rebuild spiritually and return fully changed
So who actually rises?
The one who faces themselves fully.
The one who stops chasing the mirror and starts embodying the message.
*Image created by ChatGPT
The runner isn’t always the one who leaves.
The runner is the one who refuses to face their soul.
In my case, I was the awakened one. He felt it, but couldn’t hold it. I collapsed. I transmuted. I rose, within days to weeks and my Human Design certainly made it easier for me.
This is not heartbreak. This is soul-break.
It doesn’t ruin you—it rebirths you.
My Collapse
When I met him 2 years ago, something in me remembered. It wasn’t a thought. It was cellular. His presence felt like déjà vu wrapped in fire. I saw him and immediately thought: “Hey, I know you from somewhere…, but I can’t have, gosh, he seems so familiar, what a great smile he has, those eyes, so kind, he’s funny too, so not my ‘type’, but he’s adorable, I really like him, I want him to be my best friend, he’d make a great best friend…”. These were the thoughts I was having the first day I met him. He too had his own, but that’s his story, one I will tell, if he ever circles back, which some Twin Flames do…
Then, after 2 years of orbiting each other… He started to pursue, slowly, then suddenly it was like a tornado hit my life, just while I was navigating the worst gut microbiome crash of my life. The Universe doesn’t do things by halves - or maybe that’s me… He said and texted things I’d only heard in dreams. The way he’d showed me respect for 2 years. We had the most incredible phone conversations, he told me he spent 2 years feeling nervous around me and assumed I had partner this whole time.
During one of our phone calls he mirrored my deepest mission: "I want to be a politician because I want everyone to be happy, I want to show people that they can simplify their life." That’s my ‘why’ too, minus the politician part. That hit me, Twin Flames, same life mission, and of course I cross-referenced our Astrology and Human Designs (I am not matching with just anyone now). And, of course our Astrology and HD’s are insanely compatible, if we have done Shadow healing work, which he has yet to do.
But then… (typical Twin Flame-style) He bailed. He ran. He avoided. He disappeared when life got messy. When he was being initiated and shown the mirror of all his wounding etc.. And of course my abandonment wound flared like a wildfire.
I questioned everything. My worth. My fire. My sanity. I hoped. And I collapsed under the weight of it. I was ashes - again…
My Rebirth
But something else happened in that collapse. Something ancient. Something holy.
I realised: He didn’t break me. He revealed the parts of me still waiting to be chosen.
That’s when I chose me. I was sleep deprived from the microbiome collapse, I cried so much, because during his kindness - our connection, I was being initiated into receiving unconditional love - finally. So I had to simultaneously open myself up to love, to sacred love, and also heal more grief around my late brother and past relationships. It was a soul exorcism and reclaiming at the same time, because I was ready to be looked after, to receive love on a level I had only dreamed about.
As of today, I have entered a 6–12 month season of radical self-devotion. Not to prove anything. Not to punish myself. But because I saw the Queen in me, finally, and vowed never to abandon her again.
I will not orbit his chaos. I will not plead with him. I said my piece the other week, I gave him options and he showed that he currently doesn’t have the capacity and whilst I respect his self-awareness and wish to protect me from his chaos, he could have said it to my face and not over text…
I am continuing to anchor in my new frequency. I transmuted grief into clarity. Loss into leadership.
This isn’t about whether he comes back. This is about whether I would ever leave myself again.
What I’ve Learned (And What I Want You to Know)
You’re not broken. You’re burning.
This grief is a gateway. Let it work you.
Don’t confuse chemistry with consciousness.
Sacred love doesn’t flee your fire - it holds it.
If they can’t rise to meet themselves, they can’t meet you.
You’re not meant to fix them. You’re meant to free you.
True love won’t keep you questioning your worth.
The one who sees you won’t make you beg to be held.
This is what healing at a soul level looks like. Brutal. Beautiful. Messy. Raw. Real.
On Dating the Right Person
Whether you’re drawn to men, women, or any identity beyond binaries, the lesson is the same:
The right one won’t require you to perform, shrink, or abandon your fire. They won’t love the easy parts and run from your truth.
They’ll stand in the mess with you. Not to fix you—but to be with you. Present. Accountable. Awake.
You don’t need to babysit potential. You don’t need to train someone to love you. You don’t need to water down your power to be understood.
Final Truth
This wasn’t a failed love story. It was a soul contract fulfilled. This has been 20+ years in the making, I manifested it after years of hoping to have this experience and after activating it big time in the quantum field back in February this year.
He was never meant to stay. He was meant to activate the version of me that no longer waits. That’s what Twin Flames do. If he does the work on himself and circles back, then it could possibly be Sacred Union, if not him, the right guy for me, the King to my Queen.
And that version? She’s free. She’s whole. She’s rising. She’s electric!
And she’s not waiting to be chosen. She already chose herself.
If you’re walking through this too, get in touch. I’m here if you need me to walk beside you.
Disclaimer:
This blog is based on lived experience, intuitive insight, and collective spiritual frameworks around Twin Flame dynamics. While it draws from deep emotional and energetic truth, it is not rooted in scientific evidence or clinical psychology. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. Your path is sovereign.
